A baby, funeral and wedding

Yes, I know I've been very bad about blogging lately but I promise to try and do better. Lots of things have happened since August so I'll recap and then give you more details below:
- My newest nephew was born August 26th
- My bestie had her bachelorette party and got married to a wonderful man
- We sold our house and moved to a new one
- We attended a funeral in Utah

First things first, my SIL opted for the correct way to have a kiddo and didn't find out the sex! She was induced on August 26th and after anxiously waiting all day, by BIL sent this cryptic text saying the baby was here but didn't say if it was a boy or girl. After a few more minutes, he came out to tell everyone in person that they had a BOY!!! Since it's been so long since I've posted, this precious boy is already 3 months old and going great. I know Little Man is going to love growing up with a boy cousin!

Next, we decided to put our house on the market for various reasons in early August and the weekend that my bestie had her bachelorette party, we got 2 offers. To celebrate the upcoming nuptials (and secretly celebrate our 2 offers), I proceeded to get rip-roaring drunk and ended the night (after watching a drag show at The Rose Room) by crawling into the hotel room. Needless to say, we all had a GREAT time; the next morning, however, was not great. 30 is hard.

This next part will be a little hard. Some of you might remember Husband's best friend, Kyler, from college. The word friend doesn't do justice when someone is closer than a brother. On September 17, 2011, Kyler Hal Hansen was killed in a car accident in Utah. Words cannot describe the pain Kyler's death has brought to everyone who loved him. He has left a hole that will never be filled and a sadness that washes over your entire body at the most unexpected times. I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts on paper with this one so I'll leave you with a memory from SIL's wedding.

"Comin' in hot"

Just put some newspaper over it...

So this morning Husband and I woke to the monitor turning red but realized a second later that it was just static and figured The Boy wasn't up quite yet. When Husband finally went in there around 7:00, he was greeted by our son wearing only a shirt who firmly pushed on the door and started pointing behind the door to get Husband's attention. Upon further inspection, after removing his shorts and diaper, little man had taken a dump and peed in the corner by his door. I guess he was thinking that he didn't want anyone to step in it or open the door into his mess so I suppose I should be thankful...

Happy Mother's Day?

So yesterday morning I woke up to my little guy carrying in a big box and heaving it up on the bed. Husband walked in behind and said "Happy Mother's Day" so I eagerly put on my glasses to see what my sweet family brought me. You can imagine my surprise when I saw a blow-up kiddie pool complete with a slide and elephant that sprinkles the pool through his trunk. Husband promptly told me that was from Tiny who handed me a card as I walked out the bedroom. As I opened the card (which subsequently was a picture of a half-naked cowboy...how that says I love you Mom is beyond me), a piece of paper fell out. I picked this paper up and read "I owe you one pair of running shoes today!" which was written on a receipt that was torn in half...thanks? I then questioned Husband on where and when he picked up the blow-up kiddie pool...he apparently left the house at 6:30 Sunday morning when he let out MIL's dog and went to Kroger to pick up a card. While in the card isle with 5 other last-minute dads, he saw a sign that said $10.00 off and got the pool....thanks, honey.

Deliverance via Magazine, AR

We shipped off the little man and went on a weekend hiking trip to Mt. Magazine, Arkansas last weekend with two of our friends. While planning the trip and where to stay, I didn't have a lot of luck finding someplace near the state park but found a 2 bedroom cabin in Magazine, AR that we got for $95.00 a night as the lady gave us a $50.00 discount for the high gas prices. I booked it and shortly got an email confirming our reservation with a disclaimer stating "the front doesn't look like much but it's got a great view and is nice inside". This disturbed me but with no other options, I went along with it (note: I purposely didn't send this email to our friends, just Husband). We left around 4:00 Friday and got to Magazine around 10:15. After finding the road and GPS conveniently telling us we had arrived after we came to a fork in the road, I took out her directions and read them to Husband who was driving. At this point, I asked if everyone was ready to get anally raped by a hillbilly...little did I know we would soon meet one of the folks Deliverance was filmed after. The directions said "when you get to the y, stay right, we are the first driveway on the right". Easy enough, right? We found the first driveway and pulled in. The first thing we noticed was a permanent double-wide that looked like it had just been hit by a tornado...the roof was falling in, insulation was sticking out, etc. At this point, I decided to let our friends know about the comment made by the homeowner that the front didn't look like much. I'm not a high-maintenance kind of gal but I kissed the $200.00 we already paid goodbye as I was NOT going to be staying here. We kept on driving down the towards the main "house" which was also a permanent double-wide with an RV outside. Seeing as it was 10:30 at night by this time, everything was pitch black and we saw a light go on inside. A man with no shirt on poked his head out while smoking a cigarette. We rolled out windows down and asked if he was Robin or if Robin was there to which he politely replied "No...there ain't no Robin here". I then asked if he knew where Cherokee Inn was located as we received wrong directions. In his nasally twang, he kindly said "this ain't no fucking inn...you got to go down that fucking road a ways..." With this detailed description and the fact that no one in the car spoke hillbilly, we apologized and promptly backed out of there. We eventually found the house which subsequently was the first driveway on the left, not the right, and which turned out to be quite nice (or it just seemed that way after seeing what we thought the first option was). Only in Arkansas...

Tourettes of my Mind

Yeah, I know. I've been really bad about blogging lately but to be honest, there aren't as many funny things that I can think of to blog about and I figure that no one really wants to know the boring day-to-day stuff BUT I did think of some funny stuff from last week to post. Forgive me for the randomness of this blog but these stories have absolutely no correlation other than the fact that they both involved me. Some months ago I saw a Groupon that piqued my interest because it was for laser hair removal and was only $99 for 2 areas, 6 treatments total, so I bought it. After waiting patiently, I finally got an appointment in February (right before we left for Mexico - separate story below). I diligently read through the instructions and was fully prepared for my first treatment (underarms and extended bikini which I had to pay extra for - apparently they only included 1 inch on the sides and top and considered that a bikini hair removal...I don't konw about you all but that ain't gonna cut it) which I don't mind admitting hurt like a son of a bitch but the pain didn't last long. I made my next appointment in April and put it into my iPhone to remind me. Apparently the phone didn't get the message because the appointment didn't synch to my calendar. I started thinking about the appointment and looking for it last Tuesday but couldn't find anything so I called that morning at 9:30 but had to leave a message because they did not open until 10:00. 12:00 rolled around and I hadn't heard anything so I called again but kept getting a busy signal so I sent an email asking for confirmation of when my appointment was. At 2:30 I was a little fed up with the lack of response so I called once again and finally got someone who acted like she had been waiting for my call. Keep in mind that you have to give damn near every piece of information to them when you make the appointments and sign the waiver so you can imagine that I was shocked when she said she didn't have my cell phone on record and couldn't call...why they couldn't use the number I provided in my voicemail and email is beyond me but they're the professionals. I find out that my appointment is actually that afternoon at 4:30 which normally would not be a big deal but you are required to shave all treatment areas before going in and, well, to put it delicately, I needed a weed-wacker to make a dent. I figured that I'd just be able to leave a little early, stop by a CVS or Walgreens, pick up a disposable razor and take care of the task at hand. Problem was my boss wanted to have a "quick" word around 3:50 which meant I was scrambling to get out of there by 4:15. I literally ran into Target, bought the first razor I saw and a pack of baby wipes and scrambled to get to the appointment. At approximately 4:35 I checked in and asked if I could use the restroom. When I got there, I frantically pulled down my hose (had a presentation that called for them) and began looking for the razor handle which I conveniently forgot in the car. Plan B involved holding the razor head in my fingers and trimming the forest. 2-3 minutes and a little blood later, I was sitting in the lobby waiting for my turn. In February, we went to an all-inclusive resort with 2 other couple friends for an extended weekend, kid-free, get-away. Since we wanted to be sure to get our money's worth, there was a substantial amount of alcohol involved. On the 2nd full day we were there, we decided to do a "pub crawl" of sorts and have a drink at each bar in the resort (15 total). Around the 5th or 6th bar, we were walking along the cart path and there was a guy riding a bike by who worked there. Husband has the same "filter" problem I have and sometimes acts before thinking so when the thought crossed his mind to jump out and yell "BOOOO" to this unsuspecting fellow, he did and I can honestly say I almost peed myself laughing at this poor man's face. Stupid Americans....

Snow Day!

Monster PJ's - Check

Elmo Slippers - Check

Stacking Cups - Check

Snow Day for the Family - CHECK!

Escape Artist

The other morning, I had to leave for work early so I as I left, I closed our bedroom door as Husband and the Boy were still sleeping. Around 7:30 I got a call from Husband telling me he had just been woken up to someone banging on the bedroom door. He said he opened it up and there stood the Boy, grinning ear to ear. I figured it was a fluke and the Boy would continue to sleep in his crib until I was ready for him to move to a big boy bed. Apparently I was wrong...

Saturday afternoon I put the Boy down for a nap and sat down ready to relax but couldn't find the remote. The Boy likes to take the remote at any and all possible times so I started searching for it and ran into him coming out of his bathroom (note that the toilet paper had been completely unrolled and he was holding his toothbrush and grinning like a nut). With a sinking feeling washing over me, we walked back into his room and I explained that he needed to take a nap and needed to stay in his crib. I put him back down and stayed there a minute to make sure he was laying down. I closed the door and briskly walked to my bedroom to grab the monitor...this probably takes about 30 seconds. By the time I turned on the monitor, I see a little head walking by and hear him banging on the door to get out. Needless to say, there was no afternoon nap that day. Sunday morning came bright and early at 5:00 AM with my escape artist yelling down the hall after climbing out of the crib and finding himself blocked in the hallway by a gate.

Thankfully, on Sunday afternoon, my mom and dad came over (Husband was out of town for this) and helped me figure out how to put the mattress directly on the floor in the crib so try as he might, the Boy cannot find a way to get out...yet.