If you give a mouse a cookie...

Although it is probably anticipated that I follow my last few blogs with some mention of poop, that's the only time it will be listed in this posting! Today, I'm updating everyone on our home renovations.

As some of you know, we decided before Uno comes along and shakes up our world, we wanted to re-do the kitchen. I like to tell people I feel like the mouse in "If you give a mouse a cookie" b/c I wasn't going to be happy to just re-do the floor. I wanted to re-do the floor, cabinets, counter top, walls, back splash, etc. After much discussion, we decided to bite the bullet and do it all. As of today, we have put in granite counter tops, tiled the back splash with tumbled Travertine (no grout as of yet), laid most of the floor with Travertine and grouted, painted the walls and put the first coat of the final color on the cabinets.

Oh yeah, during all of this I've also managed to get the nursery painted (with the help of my mom) and hope to get the stripes painted next week. I will explain my idea for those of you humming "dee dee dee dede de dee de de de" to the tune of Barnum and Bailey. I painted the walls a nice tan color which was in a satin finish and am painting big 13" stripes in the same color but in a gloss finish. So far we have 2 done and I think it looks pretty cool (Husband can't tell a difference unless he's "got his face pressed up against the wall" but he can't see the final vision that I have! :) I attached a pic I found on the Internet to give an idea of what I was thinking. This was done with flat and glossy so ours will look a little different since I used satin and glossy but you get the picture.

Hope all is well and most of you aren't disappointed with this blog!

Interpret This...

I have always had very strange dreams, just ask my college roomie, Kelsey. I was constantly waking up and telling her "I had the weirdest dream" when we lived together and apparently things don't change. The first is a dream I had on Saturday...no lie, after telling Husband about it, he asked if I just made this up. I promise, I didn't.
In my dream, we were in Germany at a hospital but my doctor, Dr. Bailey, was there and she told me that she was going to induce me in an hour. She then proceeded to ask if I needed to "take care of some business" before being induced (I guess she didn't want me pooping on the table after we started). I told her yes, I did need to take care of business and started going around the hospital trying to find a bathroom. I kept going to nurses stations but the lines people had to wait in were getting longer and longer and each new person had to take a sign that said what they were waiting for and had an arrow pointing to the person who was in front of them. I finally gave in and got in a line with my "bathroom" sign and started to wait. At this point, I was starting to freak b/c I knew the time was rapidly passing and I had to get back to Dr. Bailey to be induced. While I was waiting, all these kids started showing up and cutting in front of me, making me panic even more. Finally I cut in front of some kid who started yelling at me and made my way to the bathroom...problem was that I was all the sudden outside and walking towards a plane, but this all seemed normal in my dream. I walked up the planes stairs and promptly sat down on the toilet (for the record, I NEVER do this, I always wipe the seat first, then put down the liner if available, then put down more paper to ensure my ass isn't touching any part of the actual seat). After I sat down, I started looking around for the toilet paper and realized that the roll was splattered with other people's pee & there wasn't a clean/dry piece that I could use which grossed me out. Then I realized that this toilet was directly behind the pilot's seat and someone was sitting there. When the pilot turned around, it was my neighbor who started chatting like it was no big deal that I was sitting behind him trying to poop. Then I woke up.

The other dream I'll share is one that happened last week but is equally as strange. As a disclaimer, I promise all my dreams don't involve poop!

I had a dream that Husband and I were walking around in the grocery store and heard these people yelling at each other about not packing diapers for their baby. I thought it was strange but kept on walking. Then I realized it was a guy I work with and his wife. I went over to chat and realized they had another baby that I didn't know about (they have 2 right now). This baby was about 1 and when I started talking to him, he started signing Elvis. I thought to myself, "I should teach my baby to sign Elvis b/c it's really funny" (not so much in non-dream world, kind of creepy). Then I sat down in the grocery store and started playing with this kid but promptly realized that his diaper had quasi-exploded and I had this kids poop on me (at this point, it was mostly on my hands). I remembered seeing some wipes next to the Kleenex and asked Husband if he would get some and open them b/c we would just use them when Uno was born. We started looking for the wipes but they kept on disappearing. All this time, the poop kept on multiplying and it was all over me and started to fill my mouth. I actually started dry-heaving and this is how I woke myself up.

Don't Censor Me, Part Deaux

This is a special shout-out to my friend Susie who loves these blogs! As a follow-up to my first blog titled "Don't Censor Me", I have decided to post an update for all you curious souls out there reading this. As mentioned before, if you are easily offended, SKIP THIS BLOG (not sure why we're even friends, though, b/c I tend to offend often)!
I am currently 16 weeks preggo and am happy to report that the pooping problem has gotten easier (no pun intended)! I am no longer worried that I'm going to push so hard, Uno's going to pop out which makes taking a sh*t much more pleasurable. I'm also pleased to report that I'm not taking the 6-8 fiber pills I was; however, I do sometimes still feel a bit like a rabbit or deer...I'm just going to let that one sink in. If you need an explanation, let me know. I was going to post a picture of rabbit poop but thought the better of that since Husband would most likely kick me out of the house "until I can learn to act more lady-like". Haha!

Alphabet

Funny story. At work, I'm always having to spell out email addresses and whatnot and am always using the wrong word when trying to explain what letter I'm talking about. Perfect example. I was trying to tell someone the letters D S T and almost said "D like Dick..." Not sure how appropriate that would be to tell a client. My friend Mo was always laughing at me when he'd overhear me say something funny like that. Seeing as my brain is slowly turning to mush, I decided that rather than a Freudian slip, I would print off the military alphabet to go by.
Since I have nothing else to blog about, just thought I'd share with you.

Random-ness

I'm going to take a cue from my friend Susie and do a post of 25 random things about me just for your enjoyment:



1) I like the smell of skunks. No, I don't want to be doused in skunk-juice, but the smell makes me think of being far away from everyone in the country and somewhat relaxes me.

2) I hate bell peppers but love jalapenos. They taste damn-near the same but I can't stand bell peppers, regardless of the color.

3) I LOVE being an only-child. Most people who are only children hated it but I loved it. Guess you know who loves attention now.

4) I daydream a lot. Sometimes when I am driving to work, I'll get lost in a daydream and not even remember getting to work.

5) I don't like people. That's not to say I don't like my friends and enjoy their company, but in general, I really don't like people.

6) I don't always answer the phone when it rings. Goes back to #5, sometimes I'm just not in the mood to deal with people. I think it stems from being forced to be nice to people all day long so when I'm not in the mood to be nice, I avoid phone calls.

7) I love walking around the house naked.

8) I don't like kids that much. Good thing I'm preggo, huh? A lot of people have told me the same thing and they love their kids, so I don't really even feel bad writing that.

9) I don't cry & if I do, it pisses me off. My SIL will cry at anything (and fully admits it) but I can't stand crying.

10) I abhor chicken with skin on the bone. Fried or not, it's just nasty.

11) I broke a board with my hand at a work conference just like you see people do on TV.

12) I once asked Husband if New Jersey was a state.

13) I like my parents. I know this seems like a no-brainer but I actually like them & think they're funny. I like my in-laws too.

14) If I knew I wasn't going to live long, I would want a swimming pool filled with various kinds of donuts and would try to eat my way out.

15) I like to just hang out with Husband on the weekends. Sometimes I get stir-crazy and want to go somewhere but most of the time, I'm good with just hanging out with him.

16) If I could, I would have a LOT of animals. They're great companions and don't talk back.

17) My favorite vacation was when we went to Germany for Oktoberfest but I have no desire to go back.

18) I love Harry Potter. If someone could come to life and take me with him into a book, I would choose Harry.

19) Kind of piggy-backing on 18, I wish I had magical powers. I think I would choose to stop time (kind of like that show back in the 90's where all the girl had to do was put her hands together and time stopped). The only problem is that I probably wouldn't use my power to good use.

20) I have no patience for stupid people. Life is too short to be slowed down by asinine questions.

21) Showers are boring, even if they are for you.

22) I don't like to watch "normal" TV shows. I only like to watch one-off shows like on History or Discovery.

23) I don't mind giving myself Insulin shots. It hurts a little but I can think of worse things.

24) I love blood and gore. Looking back, I think I would have made an excellent doctor b/c the human body fascinates me.

25) Although I can be cynical at times, I pray.