And the winner is....

(drum roll please).....bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The name we have decided to call our unborn child is Uno. It came to Husband and I in bed last night when we were brainstorming on what to call it. Husband was busy throwing out such ideas a squirrel, skunk (OK, maybe that one was mine b/c I actually really like skunks. Strange, I know), frog, etc. when I thought, "Hey, this is our first kid and there's only one in there, so why not call it Uno".

Now that everyone knows what to call "it", relax and have a good weekend. Go Arizona!

Don't Censor Me!

WARNING: For those faint-of-heart or easily offended/disgusted, don't read any further. As I type this, Husband is shaking his head and pleading that I don't blog about this. But I will give credit where it's due, he's the one I can thank for the clever title and the blogging idea.
Being a Type 2 diabetic pre-pregnancy, I have had the fortune of taking a little white pill called Metformin. It's great for keeping the blood sugars down but has one nasty little side effect...have you ever held in a sh*t so long that when you actually were able to go, it felt like your colon exploded and all the shrapnel just flew out? Well, that pretty much sums up Metformin's side effect. Feel free to stop reading anytime now.
After I found out we were pregnant (let me stop here and pose a hypothetical question. Why do people always say we are/were pregnant. The last time I checked, Husband's waist and ass weren't expanding like that yellow foam you squirt in small places for insulation. I fully realize I have only him to thank for this small miracle in me but honestly, he's not going to have to squeeze a watermelon out of a lemon.) Anyway, after I found out I was pregnant, I had to switch to insulin since I wasn't able to keep the strict levels which are required from a diabetic preggo. "Not so bad" I thought the first time I had to shoot myself up. Boy was I wrong. While Metformin has it's nasty little side effect, the side effect of being pregnant and not being able to sh*t at all is almost worst. I'm up to 4 fiber pills a day and it still feels like I'm trying to move the Titanic from the sea floor. My prenatal even has a "softener" and it's still like I've become 1/2 rabbit when I sh*t b/c it's just these little pellets. I know, too far. My apologies.
If you found this even mildly entertaining, I highly suggest reading Jenny McCarthy's "Belly Laughs". Besides the fact that it solidifies there are people out there with my same sense of humor, her stories will have you rolling.

It's official! I'm having a...

Ha ha...probably fooled some of you in thinking I'm going to tell what the sex of the baby is but I don't know and won't be finding out until he/she decides to make his/her debut. What is official is that I have an actual baby in my belly, not a blinking blip on the screen as previously thought or a monkey (you never know with Husband!) We went to the doc today for genetic testing and got some really cool pictures of the baby (some attached here). I apologize the clarity of these pics but this is all the scanner at work gives me. I do need help thinking of something to call this kid for the next 6 months b/c "it" almost feels wrong and I can't think of any cute names that are gender-neutral (no, Vegas SIL, this small conundrum is not going to cause me to find out what we're having). If you have any ideas, comment!

T-Rex

My 2 oldest nieces received a furry friend from Santa this year which they aptly named Rex (short for T-Rex). Although I formed the habit of calling him Sexy Rexy (which they picked up, of course!), that little bugger has got some SHARP teeth. The night before we were supposed to leave to come back home, Sexy and I were playing on the floor and he grabbed onto my ear. Van Gogh's got nothing on this dog!?! Those sharp teeth tore through what used to be cartilage and ripped a gash on the back of my ear. Fortunately, I have a high pain threshold (haha) and was able to fight through with the help of a band aid, some Neosporin and Husband telling me to stop being such a pu$$y. My niece, however, was not so lucky. Apparently Sexy got a hold of the skin below her eye and she had to have 9 stitches last night! Good thing she's a tough cookie (I'm pretty sure she gets that from me). I attached a pic of her face before the stitches.

Waiting in line for the bathroom

Since I am now unable to drink for the next 8 months, NYE was an interesting experience. Our friends own a fantastic bar right down the road (http://www.lochranns.com/) and since we found our new home-away-from-home there last NYE, there wasn't any question of what we would be doing this year. Since my energy is completely zapped after 9:00, I decided that I would go up and have dinner at Lochrann's around 7:00, stay for a bit, go home and take a quick cat nap and then go back up to Lochrann's for the ball to drop. The first part worked out well as I had a cute new dress and was feeling lively but when 9:30 hit, I decided it would be best for me to take my cue and go home before I fell asleep. I got home, snuggled up in comfy clothes and promptly fell asleep (this baffles husband as he's got a slight sleeping problem and can't always sleep even with the help of Ambien CR). Around 11:15, I got up, did a drive-by of the bathroom mirror to ensure I didn't look like I just woke up and left for the bar again. The picture that greeted me upon my return was slightly different than when I left. More people had arrived and apparently felt the need to catch up to the level of drunken-ness that everyone else had already obtained. Husband, bless his heart, was doing some strange one-legged dance while trying to conduct an orchestra & my dear friend who came in town from Portland was officially smashed! Fast forward, ball drops, Husband and I kiss, tab out and go to bed.

Around 2:30 I wake up to hear Husband shuffling around in the bathroom, bumping into things as he's apparently trying to find the light switch. I finally hear him flip it on after what seems like 5 minutes and he does his business. Next I hear him shuffling around again, bumping into more items and decide this has lasted long enough and I will help. I get up, turn on the light and he's standing by the shower staring down at his boxers and looking up at my like I'm the insane one who doesn't remember where the lights are. I ask him if he's lost or coming back to bed and I kid you not, this is what he said. "Where are all the other people? They were just in line behind me and now they're gone." I look at him and say "What the f*ck are you talking about, come back to bed, there's no one in the bathroom."

Of course, he remembered nothing of this incident so I obviously had to share it with everyone else!

Hope everyone has a safe and happy 2009!