Texas-sized Stupidity

Where to begin. For my birthday, Husband and I decided to go see George Strait at the new Cowboys Stadium. Can you say Holy Cow?! That stadium is ginormous (but beautiful)! We decided to leave our house around 1:15ish b/c the parking lots opened at 2:00 and we wanted to beat some of the traffic. On the way, we saw a topless bar sign that said "We now have all pretty girls". No shit. That sign kind of made me want to go in just to make sure but I'm not sure they were open that early. After driving about an hour and half (seriously), we arrived at Lot 11 where we had some friends tailgating. We pulled up to the "attendant" and asked how much it was to park but were told that we had to have a pass. Husband, being the brain child he is, went directly straight and parked even though we were specifically told to do a u-turn and leave the lot. As expected, a parking lot attendant promptly found our car and instructed us to leave as first directed. We drove across the street (one place was actually asking for $60 to park...are you shitting me? $60 to fu*&ing park?) and found a place for a reasonable $30.00. (I'm still in shock that it was actually $30 for a parking spot but I got over it after seeing how far away other parking was.) When we got to the tailgate spot, I had the misfortune to meet Debbie Downer. She has a 15 month old who she just had to show me a picture of after learning that I was pregnant. WTF? Just b/c I'm having a kid doesn't mean I want to see yours. She also told me about how her baby didn't take to her nipple for a month, that she hadn't lost her belly from the baby (kid is 15 months old) and that her labor was horrible. I also learned in the first 5 minutes that her baby daddy is no longer in the picture and is not involved in the kids life and that child support has been a big issue. WHY WOULD YOU TELL THIS TO A COMPLETE STRANGER?! We decided to go in the stadium about 4:30 b/c I was starting to burn and wanted to get into the AC (so glad it wasn't outdoor only venue). We got in line to get some food and I'm not kidding when I say we saw a lady dipping. A LADY! We finally got our food and settled in to our seats which were on the second level, row 7. Thankfully our seats were 1 and 2 so I could easily get up to pee (which I did at least 8 times in the 5 hours we were there). Husband was in the second seat and had the fortune of sitting next to Waving Willie. This guy and his girl (I think they were together but I swear they didn't talk the ENTIRE time they sat there...strange) sat down and there was a beer sitting in the guy's drink holder so he naturally asked if it was Husband's. After being told it was not ours, I'm not kidding here, he took a swig. WHY WOULD YOU DRINK A WARM BEER THAT WAS SITTING THERE WHEN YOU SAT DOWN?!?!?! I promptly looked away so that Husband did not catch my eye and waited until what I thought was an appropriate time and asked if that really happened. Throughout the concert, this guy kept waving at the singer (Lee Ann Womak, Blake Shelton, Reba and King George). We're at least 500 ft away from the stage so there was absolutely NO way anyone could see us way up there. At one point, I think he thought maybe the big screen was the actual singer, not sure though. We also got to see Elvis reincarnated in the form of an older broad who had blue flame sequins all over her jeans and a guy who was signing EVERY word to Reba's "Fancy". Good times!