Tourettes of my Mind

Yeah, I know. I've been really bad about blogging lately but to be honest, there aren't as many funny things that I can think of to blog about and I figure that no one really wants to know the boring day-to-day stuff BUT I did think of some funny stuff from last week to post. Forgive me for the randomness of this blog but these stories have absolutely no correlation other than the fact that they both involved me. Some months ago I saw a Groupon that piqued my interest because it was for laser hair removal and was only $99 for 2 areas, 6 treatments total, so I bought it. After waiting patiently, I finally got an appointment in February (right before we left for Mexico - separate story below). I diligently read through the instructions and was fully prepared for my first treatment (underarms and extended bikini which I had to pay extra for - apparently they only included 1 inch on the sides and top and considered that a bikini hair removal...I don't konw about you all but that ain't gonna cut it) which I don't mind admitting hurt like a son of a bitch but the pain didn't last long. I made my next appointment in April and put it into my iPhone to remind me. Apparently the phone didn't get the message because the appointment didn't synch to my calendar. I started thinking about the appointment and looking for it last Tuesday but couldn't find anything so I called that morning at 9:30 but had to leave a message because they did not open until 10:00. 12:00 rolled around and I hadn't heard anything so I called again but kept getting a busy signal so I sent an email asking for confirmation of when my appointment was. At 2:30 I was a little fed up with the lack of response so I called once again and finally got someone who acted like she had been waiting for my call. Keep in mind that you have to give damn near every piece of information to them when you make the appointments and sign the waiver so you can imagine that I was shocked when she said she didn't have my cell phone on record and couldn't call...why they couldn't use the number I provided in my voicemail and email is beyond me but they're the professionals. I find out that my appointment is actually that afternoon at 4:30 which normally would not be a big deal but you are required to shave all treatment areas before going in and, well, to put it delicately, I needed a weed-wacker to make a dent. I figured that I'd just be able to leave a little early, stop by a CVS or Walgreens, pick up a disposable razor and take care of the task at hand. Problem was my boss wanted to have a "quick" word around 3:50 which meant I was scrambling to get out of there by 4:15. I literally ran into Target, bought the first razor I saw and a pack of baby wipes and scrambled to get to the appointment. At approximately 4:35 I checked in and asked if I could use the restroom. When I got there, I frantically pulled down my hose (had a presentation that called for them) and began looking for the razor handle which I conveniently forgot in the car. Plan B involved holding the razor head in my fingers and trimming the forest. 2-3 minutes and a little blood later, I was sitting in the lobby waiting for my turn. In February, we went to an all-inclusive resort with 2 other couple friends for an extended weekend, kid-free, get-away. Since we wanted to be sure to get our money's worth, there was a substantial amount of alcohol involved. On the 2nd full day we were there, we decided to do a "pub crawl" of sorts and have a drink at each bar in the resort (15 total). Around the 5th or 6th bar, we were walking along the cart path and there was a guy riding a bike by who worked there. Husband has the same "filter" problem I have and sometimes acts before thinking so when the thought crossed his mind to jump out and yell "BOOOO" to this unsuspecting fellow, he did and I can honestly say I almost peed myself laughing at this poor man's face. Stupid Americans....

Snow Day!

Monster PJ's - Check

Elmo Slippers - Check

Stacking Cups - Check

Snow Day for the Family - CHECK!

Escape Artist

The other morning, I had to leave for work early so I as I left, I closed our bedroom door as Husband and the Boy were still sleeping. Around 7:30 I got a call from Husband telling me he had just been woken up to someone banging on the bedroom door. He said he opened it up and there stood the Boy, grinning ear to ear. I figured it was a fluke and the Boy would continue to sleep in his crib until I was ready for him to move to a big boy bed. Apparently I was wrong...

Saturday afternoon I put the Boy down for a nap and sat down ready to relax but couldn't find the remote. The Boy likes to take the remote at any and all possible times so I started searching for it and ran into him coming out of his bathroom (note that the toilet paper had been completely unrolled and he was holding his toothbrush and grinning like a nut). With a sinking feeling washing over me, we walked back into his room and I explained that he needed to take a nap and needed to stay in his crib. I put him back down and stayed there a minute to make sure he was laying down. I closed the door and briskly walked to my bedroom to grab the monitor...this probably takes about 30 seconds. By the time I turned on the monitor, I see a little head walking by and hear him banging on the door to get out. Needless to say, there was no afternoon nap that day. Sunday morning came bright and early at 5:00 AM with my escape artist yelling down the hall after climbing out of the crib and finding himself blocked in the hallway by a gate.

Thankfully, on Sunday afternoon, my mom and dad came over (Husband was out of town for this) and helped me figure out how to put the mattress directly on the floor in the crib so try as he might, the Boy cannot find a way to get out...yet.

It's beginning to look a lot like...Scrooges' house

No one ever told me that by making the decision to have a kid, I'd be giving up my love for Christmas decorations! Last year, I had no less than 12 Christmas trees in or around the house. This year, I have one that is decorated from the middle half up...that's it! How sad is that!?!? We haven't put the lights up outside, nothing on the mantle, no little village on the piano, nothing except a pre-lit tree that's half decorated...I don't even have the star on top! In my defense, my tiny terrorist likes to sneak over to the tree and edge his way closer until he can reach it. If I happen to look up and tell him he can look with his eyes but not with his hands, he'll sweetly smile at me and put his hands to the side or behind his back...BUT as soon as I look away, he grabs whatever is close and starts running to the other side of the house. When I finally get a hold of him, he just laughs and laughs and tries to do it again 10 minutes later.

Stats

Little man went in for his 15 month check-up last week and here are his stats:
Weight: 27.2 - 80% percentile
Height: 33.5 inches - 96% percentile
Head: I think 42% percentile but didn't pay that much attention to the head.

If he stays on target, he's set to be 6ft 2in! He certainly didn't get his height from me! :) He has always been a pretty even-tempered baby and rarely cries but I think he might be learning some not-so-good habits from the other kids at school b/c if I take away something that he wants (say a 1/2 full cup of water that he thought he could drink on his own and ended up soaking everything in a 1 foot radius), he SCREAMS. Not cries a little, he actually screams like I just cut off a finger. Wonderful. He can play peek-a-boo (something I discovered last night), loves to point at people, dance like a crazy person, play the piano (we have an old player piano and when we turn it on, he acts like he's playing) and EAT.

In other news, we're going on a couples retreat in February. OK, so it's not actually called a couples retreat but we're going to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico with 2 other couple friends...I can't wait!!

Here are some more pics from Halloween and other random ones.

Double Meat, Double Cheese

For Halloween, my little guy was a hamburger. Here are a few pics of his first real trick or treating experience. I'll see if I can get some pics from my work to post also!

My mind is a strange place to live...

A guy at work subtly reminded me yesterday that my brain doesn't exactly function like normal people's...I was at Lowe's this weekend and saw a pregnant lady looking at grills with her husband and my first thought wasn't "Oh, she's cute pregnant" or anything similar. I immediately thought "If I snuck up on her and yelled BOO, would she go into labor?". I chuckled out loud at the prospect which caught Husband's attention so then I had to tell him what I was thinking...sometimes I think I even worry him and he's been with me for 10 years!

Happy Wednesday!