Weddings, Family and Swollen Feet

So it's been a while since I've blogged but in my defense, we've had a lot going on. In anticipation of Krissy and Jimmy's wedding, we finally finished the kitchen...I should add that we just finished hanging the last cabinets the day that family started arriving in town (pictures attached). I got to spend a lot of quality time with my precious nephew and am confident that Vegas SIL will continue the training so that he's saying my name on a regular basis by the time they come back in May. Husband even got to baby-sit one morning while we went shopping....poor guy cried the whole time (and I'm not talking about my nephew)! :)

The wedding was perfect...Bride was beautiful, flower girls were precious in their matching dresses, cake was yummy, photographer was sweating a lot, etc! What wasn't perfect was my size 18W dress that I had to get in a huge size b/c I didn't know how big I would be at 6 months pregnant. While the alterations were cheaper than expected, the boobs were absolutely huge even after alterations so I had to wear a strapless bra and stuff in the chicken cutlets just to try and fill out some of the extra room! Towards the end of the night, I thought I would kill someone if I didn't get the bra off in a hurry b/c it was so uncomfortable. Needless to say, I ended up driving home with my dress half-way unzipped and bra less...great feeling!

What I also noticed after arriving home and taking off my shoes (keep in mind I had on comfy flip-flops that have a small kitten-heel) was that my feet were swollen. Not cankle-swollen but enough that I could tell. I figured it was b/c I had been running around Dallas all day long and that this wasn't the beginning of the end of my beautiful ankles (for those of you who really know me, I have always loved my ankles...it's damn-near the only part of my body I'm completely happy with!). Can I just say that I'm afraid I was incorrect. Yesterday after getting home from work, I looked at my feet and again saw they were again slightly swollen. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! This morning I decided to take a pic of my feet before I left for work and plan on taking one when I get home (yes, I'm working hard, I know). Today doesn't seem as bad as yesterday but I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach (and no, it's not heartburn) that I will be saying goodbye to my feet and ankles in the very near future. The good news is that everyone tells me that it will go away shortly after giving birth (I've heard anywhere from a week to a month) but the bad news is that since I'll be fat and pregnant in the summer months, there's no covering up the ankles! I'll post pictures when I load them of ankles and the baby belly.

I want to pee before you poop

I apologize for not updating the blog sooner...work's been crazy busy and we're desperately trying to get the kitchen done before SIL's wedding but I do have some funny stories from the bachelorette party in Austin that I thought I'd share.
Both take place with my SIL and MIL on the way back from Austin and made me laugh so hard tears were freely flowing down my face. After we got up and ate some breakfast, we dropped off Vegas SIL and my precious Vegas Nephew at the Austin airport. As we were leaving, a cab pulled up almost next to the car and stopped. SIL was driving and laid on the horn for the cab to move but he only moved a fraction and the passengers started getting out. We were able to squeeze around the cab (after holding on the horn for another 30 seconds) but the passengers started yelling obscenities at us so the entire car (save the MIL) began yelling and gesturing right back. The funny part was when SIL pulled up next to the cab but stopped and started looking to her left like she was adjusting the seat or something. Much to my amusement, I realized that she was looking for the window button so she could roll down the window and yell at the cabbie without the window in the way. After 30-45 seconds, she found it and the cabbie started yelling at her (in all honesty, I couldn't tell what the hell he was saying with his accent) but all that SIL could manage was "You're an asshole" which amused me even more b/c it was such a buildup but a letdown in my mind for what I would have (and did say as we were pulling away). Then the cabbie spit at the car and his spit came about a fraction of an inch away from hitting my MIL in the face. Since she was in no way condoning this behavior, it made it even more funny that she came so close to getting spit on by some dumbass who can't drive.
The next funny story (and reason for the title) gave me the giggles for the next 2 days, especially when I was trying to fall asleep that night. We stopped at the Sonic in Waco to grab a bite and use the bathroom. Earlier the day (before the cabbie incident but at the airport) I mentioned that I needed to pee (thanks to Uno for finding a new hobby in kicking my bladder) and SIL said that she needed to poop. I quickly used the airport bathroom but SIL decided she could wait. By the time we got to Waco, both MIL and I needed to pee and SIL needed to take care of some business. We ordered our food but forgot to ask if they had a bathroom we could use so SIL pushed the button again to ask. They directed us to the potty but not even 2 seconds after they told us where it was, my MIL announced that she wanted to pee before SIL pooped. I have no idea if the Sonic person heard any of this but it sure made me laugh to think that the person delivering our food was wondering exactly who in the car needed to poop.
In other news, Uno had his/her photo shoot last Friday and weighs a whopping 1 lb 9 oz...for those of you keeping track, that's a gain of 1 lb 2 oz since the last visit. My mom was able to come to this appt and was amazed at what we could see with the sonogram. Uno is measuring around 25 weeks and I'm at 23 weeks, so he/she is a little on the big side. Husband and my mom have felt Uno kick/head but/punch and people have actually started noticing that I'm pregnant, not just gaining weight. Husband and I both have our guesses about what Uno is, especially after this last sonogram, but we've decided to keep this to ourselves.

Don't Shake the Belly

Sorry for the delay in blogging...need not take that fateful plunge off the ledge for fear that I have succumbed to the Myspace status of forgotten and left forever. Life and work have been crazy lately and I haven't even started doing our taxes!
I tried to take a belly shot today of myself in the mirror but it's not working so Vegas SIL, you'll have to wait a little longer to see Uno's current home. I can tell you that I have definitely "popped" and, sadly, my pre-preggo jeans no longer fit. It was a depressing day this weekend when I tried to put them on and realized that they a) looked horrible and b) were completely uncomfortable. I have surrendered to the maternity jeans which I will say are comfortable but they're no Citizens. I know, I know, they have Seven/Citizen/Joe's in maternity but I cannot bring myself to spend $200 on jeans that I know I won't wear in the summer heat! With the belly in full sight (at least to me) and me full of energy the other night, I thought it would be funny to see what Husband did when I grabbed the belly and started shaking it while singing "Shake your money-maker like somebody 'bout to pay ya". I'm not talking about a gentle shake, this was a full on vibrating shake that some of you may feel the need to comment on due to concerns of the safety of Uno. My thought is that when I laugh hard (which I do often), it's basically the same thing. Needless to say, Husband was not impressed but did give me some great inspiration for the blog title!
In other news, today is St. Patty's day, a favorite holiday in our household. I decided after I found out I was preggo that I needed a great shirt to wear for today and hit the jackpot online while searching for funny/tacky maternity shirts. I'm not big into maternity shirts (especially the ones that say, "Pregnant, not fat". Honestly, what if you were a little fat before...it opens you up to all kinds of remarks. I tried to take pictures but they turned out horrible (will post later when Husband is able to help....he's currently at the bar celebrating) but the shirt I got says "Got some Irish in me, now I'm knocked up". :) So tacky but true! As a parting gift, here's a St. Patty's day tidbit I learned this morning while listening to Bo and Jim. Apparently, Saint Patrick was actually born to a Scottish family even though he's the patron saint of Ireland. Not sure how true this may be but I didn't really feel like searching for information on Saint Patrick.

It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a while.

Irish Proverb

Uno update

It seems that I have been so preoccupied with my poop stories I completely forgot to give an update on Uno. We went to the doc on Friday, Feb. 20th for my 16 week ultrasound and I had another round of blood drawn for the genetic stuff (everything came back normal). The blood thing was interesting to say the least b/c I'm convinced that the lady working the blood booth had no previous experience before being hired! The first time I went in she stuck the needle in my arm and had to fish around to get the blood to start flowing into the little capsule thing. This time, she stuck me 2 times before she apparently hit a vein but apparently she didn't hit it very well b/c it was slowly seeping into the tube, not shooting into it like it is supposed to. She finally gave up after the vial was filled 1/2 way and got the office manager to come do it. The office manager got it in about 5 seconds (in the other arm) but I left looking like a junkie with bruises on both arms! It's bad enough that I have to shoot up (insulin, that is) but now I actually look like I'm shooting up!! This normally wouldn't be a big deal but since I have to get my blood taken every 3 months to check my A1C levels (diabetic stuff), I know how easy/painless/fast it usually is.
Moving on, don't ask me where I got this misconception, but I thought I had to have a full bladder when getting an ultrasound. If anyone reading this is pregnant/thinking about getting pregnant, let me fill you in....you don't have to have a full bladder. I found this out after the technician had already smeared the goop all over my stomach and noticed that I had an extremely full bladder. I politely told her I thought I had to have a full bladder and she laughed and said not these days. Lesson learned. Keep in mind, this wasn't a semi-full bladder moment, this was a "I'm in pain b/c my bladder is so full and if you keep on pressing right on it with the machine, I might pee on myself" moment. So she starts buzzing right through the sonogram while Husband and I are trying to understand what the hell she's seeing and how the hell she knows what it is. Case in point, she zoomed in on the heart and Husband thought it was Uno opening his/her mouth. Since we're not finding out what the sex is, it was kind of fun trying to see...well, anything, so we could guess. Towards the end of the sono, we asked if she knew what the sex is and she verified she knew what it was but it wouldn't be listed anywhere on my file. Then the doc came in and did the same kind of thing but his was a lot less descriptive. After a few minutes (maybe 2 at the most) we were asking if we should look away from the screen at any point if he needed to see a picture that would be a "money shot" as my friend Paige calls it but he said he already knew what Uno was! So now 2 people know what we're having (no Lisa/Krissy, I will not give you the docs name to call him and ask). After the doc left, Husband was like "I know what we're having, I saw". Keep in mind, not 15 minutes before, he thought the heart was the mouth. So I ask and he tells me what he thinks. I start laughing b/c I could have sworn when the doc was talking to us, he said "his/her heart looks good" but my guess was opposite of what Husband thought. :) I guess this kid will keep us guessing until the very end! I would post pictures of the sonogram but I honestly can't tell what they're pictures of and I was there so I think I'll wait for the next ones to post (if you can see anything).

If you give a mouse a cookie...

Although it is probably anticipated that I follow my last few blogs with some mention of poop, that's the only time it will be listed in this posting! Today, I'm updating everyone on our home renovations.

As some of you know, we decided before Uno comes along and shakes up our world, we wanted to re-do the kitchen. I like to tell people I feel like the mouse in "If you give a mouse a cookie" b/c I wasn't going to be happy to just re-do the floor. I wanted to re-do the floor, cabinets, counter top, walls, back splash, etc. After much discussion, we decided to bite the bullet and do it all. As of today, we have put in granite counter tops, tiled the back splash with tumbled Travertine (no grout as of yet), laid most of the floor with Travertine and grouted, painted the walls and put the first coat of the final color on the cabinets.

Oh yeah, during all of this I've also managed to get the nursery painted (with the help of my mom) and hope to get the stripes painted next week. I will explain my idea for those of you humming "dee dee dee dede de dee de de de" to the tune of Barnum and Bailey. I painted the walls a nice tan color which was in a satin finish and am painting big 13" stripes in the same color but in a gloss finish. So far we have 2 done and I think it looks pretty cool (Husband can't tell a difference unless he's "got his face pressed up against the wall" but he can't see the final vision that I have! :) I attached a pic I found on the Internet to give an idea of what I was thinking. This was done with flat and glossy so ours will look a little different since I used satin and glossy but you get the picture.

Hope all is well and most of you aren't disappointed with this blog!

Interpret This...

I have always had very strange dreams, just ask my college roomie, Kelsey. I was constantly waking up and telling her "I had the weirdest dream" when we lived together and apparently things don't change. The first is a dream I had on Saturday...no lie, after telling Husband about it, he asked if I just made this up. I promise, I didn't.
In my dream, we were in Germany at a hospital but my doctor, Dr. Bailey, was there and she told me that she was going to induce me in an hour. She then proceeded to ask if I needed to "take care of some business" before being induced (I guess she didn't want me pooping on the table after we started). I told her yes, I did need to take care of business and started going around the hospital trying to find a bathroom. I kept going to nurses stations but the lines people had to wait in were getting longer and longer and each new person had to take a sign that said what they were waiting for and had an arrow pointing to the person who was in front of them. I finally gave in and got in a line with my "bathroom" sign and started to wait. At this point, I was starting to freak b/c I knew the time was rapidly passing and I had to get back to Dr. Bailey to be induced. While I was waiting, all these kids started showing up and cutting in front of me, making me panic even more. Finally I cut in front of some kid who started yelling at me and made my way to the bathroom...problem was that I was all the sudden outside and walking towards a plane, but this all seemed normal in my dream. I walked up the planes stairs and promptly sat down on the toilet (for the record, I NEVER do this, I always wipe the seat first, then put down the liner if available, then put down more paper to ensure my ass isn't touching any part of the actual seat). After I sat down, I started looking around for the toilet paper and realized that the roll was splattered with other people's pee & there wasn't a clean/dry piece that I could use which grossed me out. Then I realized that this toilet was directly behind the pilot's seat and someone was sitting there. When the pilot turned around, it was my neighbor who started chatting like it was no big deal that I was sitting behind him trying to poop. Then I woke up.

The other dream I'll share is one that happened last week but is equally as strange. As a disclaimer, I promise all my dreams don't involve poop!

I had a dream that Husband and I were walking around in the grocery store and heard these people yelling at each other about not packing diapers for their baby. I thought it was strange but kept on walking. Then I realized it was a guy I work with and his wife. I went over to chat and realized they had another baby that I didn't know about (they have 2 right now). This baby was about 1 and when I started talking to him, he started signing Elvis. I thought to myself, "I should teach my baby to sign Elvis b/c it's really funny" (not so much in non-dream world, kind of creepy). Then I sat down in the grocery store and started playing with this kid but promptly realized that his diaper had quasi-exploded and I had this kids poop on me (at this point, it was mostly on my hands). I remembered seeing some wipes next to the Kleenex and asked Husband if he would get some and open them b/c we would just use them when Uno was born. We started looking for the wipes but they kept on disappearing. All this time, the poop kept on multiplying and it was all over me and started to fill my mouth. I actually started dry-heaving and this is how I woke myself up.

Don't Censor Me, Part Deaux

This is a special shout-out to my friend Susie who loves these blogs! As a follow-up to my first blog titled "Don't Censor Me", I have decided to post an update for all you curious souls out there reading this. As mentioned before, if you are easily offended, SKIP THIS BLOG (not sure why we're even friends, though, b/c I tend to offend often)!
I am currently 16 weeks preggo and am happy to report that the pooping problem has gotten easier (no pun intended)! I am no longer worried that I'm going to push so hard, Uno's going to pop out which makes taking a sh*t much more pleasurable. I'm also pleased to report that I'm not taking the 6-8 fiber pills I was; however, I do sometimes still feel a bit like a rabbit or deer...I'm just going to let that one sink in. If you need an explanation, let me know. I was going to post a picture of rabbit poop but thought the better of that since Husband would most likely kick me out of the house "until I can learn to act more lady-like". Haha!